JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
we should paint friendship bongs
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