happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
