I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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