I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
