just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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