I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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