You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
