after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
