dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Terrible idea I love it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize