he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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