If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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