Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize