Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize