he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
