I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
