I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
