We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize