that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
