Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We left the knife in your bed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
