I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
