It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize