I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
