Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
