All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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