Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
