I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
