We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
