Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
