we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
