he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
