New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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