i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We talked him into tasing himself.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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