We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
