think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize