margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't deserve a penis
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
