I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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