so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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