p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
