Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
