I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
