I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize