If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
