the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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