He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
