She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
