i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
