you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
