My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
