He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The convent might be a nice break from real life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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