I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
