he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This baby is an asshole
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
