Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize